I've decided to begin a surrogacy journay. At this point in time, I haven't told many people of my decision to begin the process to become a surrogate. There are still numerous steps that have to be taken before we even attempt a transfer. Though, with those that we have told, they often ask me what made me decide to do it.
Honestly, it started as a joke.
I loved being pregnant and giving birth. Or rather, I suffer from pregnancy amnesia and believe that I loved it. (Ask me again when I'm pregnant and nauseous!) I always wanted around five kids. However, after our second my husband, Sorrell, and I decided that we were finished having children. We got pregnant with our daughter right when got married and then only three months after her birth we got pregnant again with our son. Since we never really had our "honeymoon" time together, we agreed that if we decide to not have any more, then when ours are grown enough to take care of themselves, we'll still be young enough to have fun and do things together.
So one day I saw something about surrogacy on t.v. and jokingly told Sorrell that since I still desired to be pregnant but we didn't want to have to raise more children, I should just become a surrogate. Then I could experience pregnancy again but we could just hand the baby over after and get some sleep! At the time we laughed about it but the idea seed had been planted in my brain.
I'm not a complete stranger to the idea of surrogacy because I can vaguely remember a family friend when I was younger who had been a surrogate. Of course, I think that she was doing it for a family member or something. After some time passed I found myself thinking about it more and more. Just what exactly was involved in surrogacy? Was it prevalent or underground? And do people really do it often for complete strangers?
Being the product of modern technological society, I turned to the most knowledgeable source available: Google. I typed in "surrogacy" and suddenly all of my answerd were just a click away. I read articles about what surrogacy was and general facts about it in the US and commonly asked questions about it. Then I checked out some forums that were dedicated to surrogacy. I was in amazement at the number of women who had been or currently were surrogates, all of them talking about their experiences, their questions and fears and excitement, which agencies they used and recommended and updates on their pregnancies and even the babies and families they had been surrogates for!
The best information I came across on the forums were the agency recommendations. Time and time again I came across an agency that had great comments called Simple Surrogacy out of Dallas, TX. My next step was to visit their website. This is where I gained the most information about the actual process of surrogacy.
After several months of research and inner soul searching, I approached Sorrell with the idea, this time on a serious note.
Initially, he didn't know how he felt about it. Did I really want to enter into something like this with complete strangers? Did I want to take on the risks of pregnancy for someone else's child? Would I get attached? Did I care that I'd gain weight again after working hard to lose weight from my own pregnancies?
I understood where he was coming from and appreciated his concern. But I found myself disheartened at the idea of surrogacy being thrown out. Could it be that in all of my research I had already mentally committed myself to surrogacy without even realizing it?
Honestly, it started as a joke.
I loved being pregnant and giving birth. Or rather, I suffer from pregnancy amnesia and believe that I loved it. (Ask me again when I'm pregnant and nauseous!) I always wanted around five kids. However, after our second my husband, Sorrell, and I decided that we were finished having children. We got pregnant with our daughter right when got married and then only three months after her birth we got pregnant again with our son. Since we never really had our "honeymoon" time together, we agreed that if we decide to not have any more, then when ours are grown enough to take care of themselves, we'll still be young enough to have fun and do things together.
So one day I saw something about surrogacy on t.v. and jokingly told Sorrell that since I still desired to be pregnant but we didn't want to have to raise more children, I should just become a surrogate. Then I could experience pregnancy again but we could just hand the baby over after and get some sleep! At the time we laughed about it but the idea seed had been planted in my brain.
I'm not a complete stranger to the idea of surrogacy because I can vaguely remember a family friend when I was younger who had been a surrogate. Of course, I think that she was doing it for a family member or something. After some time passed I found myself thinking about it more and more. Just what exactly was involved in surrogacy? Was it prevalent or underground? And do people really do it often for complete strangers?
Being the product of modern technological society, I turned to the most knowledgeable source available: Google. I typed in "surrogacy" and suddenly all of my answerd were just a click away. I read articles about what surrogacy was and general facts about it in the US and commonly asked questions about it. Then I checked out some forums that were dedicated to surrogacy. I was in amazement at the number of women who had been or currently were surrogates, all of them talking about their experiences, their questions and fears and excitement, which agencies they used and recommended and updates on their pregnancies and even the babies and families they had been surrogates for!
The best information I came across on the forums were the agency recommendations. Time and time again I came across an agency that had great comments called Simple Surrogacy out of Dallas, TX. My next step was to visit their website. This is where I gained the most information about the actual process of surrogacy.
After several months of research and inner soul searching, I approached Sorrell with the idea, this time on a serious note.
Initially, he didn't know how he felt about it. Did I really want to enter into something like this with complete strangers? Did I want to take on the risks of pregnancy for someone else's child? Would I get attached? Did I care that I'd gain weight again after working hard to lose weight from my own pregnancies?
I understood where he was coming from and appreciated his concern. But I found myself disheartened at the idea of surrogacy being thrown out. Could it be that in all of my research I had already mentally committed myself to surrogacy without even realizing it?
I allowed some time to pass for me to dwell on the idea of surrogacy, the questions and concerns that it raised and my reasons for wanting to go through with the application process. And Sorrell was right. Pregnancy brought weight gain and body changes that I had been working for years to overcome from my own pregnancies and I was still no where near where I wanted to be. Was I really willing to potentially sacrifice that hard work for the thrill of being pregnant again? For complete strangers?
It was obviously not an overnight decision but I finally concluded that yes, I was willing. My desire to give such an amazing gift to someone who couldn't do it on their own, who certainly had every right as anyone else to have a loving family of their own, far outweighed any minor physical set backs. So I took the idea back to Sorrell.
I told him that I had done my reasearch and I had done my soul searching. It was something that I really wanted to do not just for me, but for the couple that I - that we would helping. Everyone deserves to have a family and it's something that I can help them acheive. I said that it was ultimately a decision that we had to make together but for him to please promise me that he would seriously consider it.
That's exactly what he did. I can't say exactly when he came to me and said let's do it or frankly, if it even happened that way or if it was more of an unspoken, natural progression. What I do know is that I soon found myself filling